We used to be a country that went out and did things for ourselves. If we wanted something, we either worked for it or discovered a way to make it happen.

Earlier in our nation’s history, we took on the most powerful empire in the world, Great Britain, and won our independence. We then marched across this great land of ours and built cities, railroads, and homes for our people. We were involved in two world wars, which involved our men going to a foreign land and dying for the principle of freedom and against tyranny. We as a nation rolled up our sleeves and, through hard work and determination, made a place that started off as 13 individual colonies into the most extraordinary military & economic nation the world has ever known.

America was known throughout the world as a “Can Do Nation.”

Back then, we were tough, strong, and self-reliant.

Now?

We are a bunch of pussies.

So, why am I bringing this up?

Because I believe the downfall of our nation and/or society can be blamed on the following 4 items:

1: Uber Eats,

2: Electric Scooters,

3: Man Buns,

4: Wimpy Feelings

Allow me to explain.

When I say Uber Eats, I’m not just talking about the company, per se; I’m talking about the concept in which the name Uber Eats was derived. For example, way back in the day, people in business needed a document copied, and they said, “Go Xerox this.” And then this office dweeb would go make a photocopy of the document and proudly present it to its Corporate Overlord. It didn’t matter if you had a Cannon, Xerox, or HP copier. You understood what you were being asked to do by the brand name.

So, I could say Uber Eats, Door Dash, Instacart, or any other service that brings you your fast food order or items from a grocery or convenience store. You would get an idea of what concept I’m talking about.

Let me tell you a little secret: I really despise these companies. Why do you ask? Simple, because these companies allow the lazy to thrive and show the massive amount of stupidity that can be crammed into one person. Now before I start ripping the younger generation a new asshole, which to me is always fun to do, hear me out.

There is nothing wrong if you are using a company like Door Dash, Uber Eats, or any other type of meal or grocery delivery service under the following conditions:

1: If you are elderly, no longer drive, or have an actual disability that prevents you from leaving your home. My Mom falls into this category and has all of her groceries delivered to her via her Walmart app. If she craves something special, she will have it delivered via the services mentioned above.

2: If you are sick. I can see if you are too ill to leave your home. You need things like chicken soup, crackers, colds, flu medicines, or even your medications from a local store, doctor, or pharmacy. This makes perfect sense.

And 3: If you have been drinking. If you are at home having a few Adult Beverages. If you run out and need more, by all means, use any delivery service you can find to bring you more alcohol (hell, even order some for me). I would rather see you get your booze brought to you at home than you be impaired, and in an attempt to drive to your local liquor store, you get into a crash and kill someone. So yes, if you are drinking and need more, for God’s sake, have it delivered to you.

But suppose you are just some lazy asshole who can’t put down their video game console long enough to drive to the store or go pick up your own food. In that case, you are indeed an embarrassment to your ancestors. While they were doing something valuable and productive with their life, you have your lazy ass plastered into a gamer chair, playing Super Mario and stuffing Nacho Cheese Doritos down your face hole while drinking massive amounts of Red Bull.

Another way our country has become a bunch of non-movement emperors is through electric scooters. I’m talking about the stand-up kind, not the little four-wheeled variety the elderly or lazy shoppers at Walmart ride in. You remember scooters, don’t you? Back in the day, we would nail a t-bar to the front end of a skateboard and poof! You made a scooter. If you still don’t grasp the concept, look it up online. I’m sure Kamala Harris is riding one around a swing state looking for votes right about now.

 So far, America has become too lazy to get their collective fat asses out of a chair to feed themselves. Still, they are too lazy to propel their own bodies when they go outside. Granted, most Americans are afraid of that big ball of light in the sky that those of us with a 3^rd-grade education and above call The Sun, but still, you would think that once they go outside and conquer their fear of The Sun, they would have enough pride in themselves to move about on their own propulsion.

And these overly pampered meat sacks fall into two categories.

One: Do you remember the movie Wall-E where everybody got so fat and inert that they all just laid around on floating beds and ate everything through a cup with a straw. No physical movement of their own whatsoever, as everything they did was done for them.

(Although, I do wonder how they managed to wipe their own asses, but I digress).

Now, I’ve seen big people on electric scooters. I’ve also seen these mammoths burn out the electric motors because engines couldn’t handle their weight. These truck-scale counterweights think that riding an electric scooter is their contribution to the world of exercise. So, when their doctor asks them if they are exercising, they can say, “Why yes, Doctor, I used my scooter to go the store just the other day.”

What they won’t tell the medical professionals is that they rode an electric scooter that required no effort on their part at all for them to pick up a bag of nacho cheese Doritos, a cherry Slurpee, and some beef jerky all because the Door Dash company quit taking their orders because they don’t tip enough.

The second category is Hipsters.

I don’t know the fascination of owning or using an electric scooter, but they seem to bring all the hipsters out of the woodwork. I can drive to work, and I would be heading past our local university, and there they are. A massive herd of these wanna-be-men riding their electric scooters down the sidewalk with the wind whistling through their collective vaginas.

Come on, guys, at least pretend you are occasionally pushing the scooters!

(More on hipsters later in another post or future podcast).

Speaking of hipsters, let us talk about the current fashion rage among these “Young, urban individuals who embrace a lifestyle that is seen as unconventional.” Of course, I’m speaking of “The Man Bun”.

Those with one claim that “this style has become a symbol of modern masculinity and is often seen as a blend of practicality and fashion.”

The rest of us see a Man Bun as “What a guy holds onto while he is getting a blow job in prison.” How in the hell can a ball of hair on top of your head be considered masculine? Sure, men have had ponytails for long hair, and I know a lot of bikers who have them.

But you will never see a biker with a Man Bun unless he’s riding an electric bike or even a scooter. Then he’s just doing it to cool down his vagina from his latest bikini and/or Brazilian wax.

This leads me to my final topic….Wimpy Feelings.

Since when did everyone become butt hurt?

It used to be that the person who “got their feelings hurt” was the person you had to get over it. Granted, you would never intentionally go out of your way to hurt someone like that…unless they fell into the following categories.

Assholes.

Idiots

Members of Congress or other branches of Government.

Anything that has to do with being WOKE.

Drag Queens and Rainbow Flags.

Border Jumpers

Abortionists

And the rest of humanity.

But most of the time, you could kid or make a joke about someone, and they would know you are kidding and 9 times out of 10, they would laugh and send a joke about you back in your direction.

It was the way of the world and has worked for thousands of years. When suddenly, the Pussyasaurus started to rear its ugly head.

You can’t call something wrong because it would hurt the person’s “feelings” if you told them they were doing something wrong. You no longer have losers in games we played as kids. Now, “Everybody is a Winner” because everyone goes home with a “Participation Trophy,” so no one’s feelings get hurt because they lost.

I can’t call an Abortionist a Baby Killer because it would hurt the feelings of the woman who kills her child. (Never mind the feelings or even the life of the unborn child).

In a brief amount of time, I eviscerated 4 of America’s most liberally honored traditions, and I make no bones about it. These things, Uber Eats, Electric Scooters, Man Buns and Wimpy Feelings totally suck.

And once we realize that we can once again become a country that once again became called “The Can Do Nation.”