I’ve had it!

No, this time I’m serious… I’ve had it!

Much like my previous rant about Walmart, I’ve discovered a new place that I will avoid like the plague, or a date with any Kardashian, which, for those keeping score at home, are two of the same thing.

I’m speaking of McDonald’s.

Now, before I delve into one of my patient-pending, bearded rants, let me provide you with some background. Then you can see why I am royally pissed off at what I’m calling “The Urine Arches” (Because McDonald’s is not even worth the effort it takes to take a piss).

I’m sure that we can all remember when going to McScrewups used to be a very pleasurable experience. We all knew it wasn’t fine dining. It was food you could grab and go. If you were out and needed to grab a quick bite to eat, you would go to McDonald’s. It was food that you could shove down your gullet and actually feel full. Granted, it wasn’t exactly the healthiest choice, but at least you got something to alleviate the hunger pains. In addition, the portions that were served back then were the same size as you could make at home or when your Dad did the backyard BBQ.

Fast food, back then, had the same 3 qualities as the current personality traits of said Kardashians. Both were/are considered:

Fast

Cheap

And Easy.

Back then, you could take your whole family to McDonald’s, get a decent meal for a very fair price. Now, you go to Mc Costly and you have to decide between a Big Mac combo or sending your kid to college.

Back then, there really wasn’t a problem with getting your order right. Now, it’s the rarest of exceptions that you get what you order, complete with no mistakes or omissions. Even after you’ve repeated the order twice to either a microphone in the drive-through or a person at the counter who looks like they’ve sent their entire stash of brain cells out to get dry cleaned.

Now that you have an idea of what I’m going to talk about, let me tell you what happened.

This evening, we were too tired to cook. We’d put in long days at our jobs, and the last thing either of us wanted to do was cook dinner. (Ideally, we wish we had someone just hand-feeding us peeled grapes one at a time, but there are child labor laws against that sort of thing.) Given the fact that we already had pizza for dinner this week (Don’t judge!), we decided to go to McStupid’s for our family’s dinner.

My youngest, Ray-Ray, and I get into my car and head to McDonald’s. Now, just to confirm that we got the right thing, Ray-Ray’s mom sent me a text message that listed everybody’s order. The order was for 4 kids and two adults. The text, along with the orders, was broken down for each person, and the orders were precise about what each person wanted.

The oldest boy, X-Man, has issues with taste and smell due to his condition. Given that, we have figured out what exactly he can eat at McClueless, and he can have dinner with the rest of us. We think we have everything covered. Right?

Major McWrong!

We arrive at Mc Screw Ups, go to the counter to have a “Real Person” take our order. Because, as a lot of fast food joints are doing, they have touch screens where you can order and pay without having to talk to a “Live Human”. The problem is that these screens are unable to handle special orders, such as what needs to be on a burger for X-Man.

Speaking of X-Man, this was to be his first big-boy burger. He was graduating from the Sappy Meal he was used to getting to a Quarter Pounder. And for X-Man, the burger is simple. Meat and Bun. That’s it. No sauce. No cheese. No veggies of any kind. Just Meat and Bun. We were actually looking forward to him having a Big-Boy burger for the first time in his life.

So, we go to the counter and are greeted by a charming young lady. She not only greeted and spoke to me, but she also interacted with 10-year-old Ray-Ray. Before I go any further, I must mention that her attitude and the way she interacted with both of us were outstanding. Polite, friendly, and helpful.

The problem is that she messed up taking our order. As previously stated, I told her what I wanted and how it had to be. Then, I pulled out my phone and let her read the very same words that I had just said to her, which were displayed on my phone from the text message provided. She even looked at the words on my phone and then checked the order on her register.

It was so simple. Hear the words spoken to you by moi. See the words, in English, mind you, on my cell phone. Enter the words you both heard and read (assuming these people can read here. Big assumption on my part, I know) and enter this oral and verbal information into a machine where you touch the word on a screen that describes what we want to eat and how it was to be prepared and sends it to the grunting, acne prepucent individuals in the back to cook. Even the number 4 creature in Darwin’s Chain of Human Evolution would have ensured our order was entered correctly.

Unfortunately for our family and the rest of us who walk upright, McDoofus only hires employees who are among the first three groups in Darwin’s Chain of Being.

As a rule, I try to make it a habit of checking to ensure that all our orders are in the bags.

Because even though I checked to make sure all our food was there, and at first glance, it seemed to be all there. Still, when we got home and started taking the stuff out of the bags, we discovered that some things were prepared incorrectly, and, despite my best efforts, we were short on items as well.

And guess whose order they messed up on?

That’s right. X-Man’s!

What should have been a straightforward thing to cook. Quarter Pounder plain. No Sauce. No Ketchup. No Onions. No Cheese. Just meat and bun. Meat and Bun. MEAT AND BUN!!!! It was a two-ingredient recipe, and you only had to cook one! The blasted meat! And yet, you still screwed that up!

The fact that we were also short some fries, and I believe some chicken nuggets, in addition to discovering that there was no size difference between their regular cheeseburgers and a hockey puck, went well with the fact that we spent about $65.00 on burgers, fries, and Cokes. And yet, these are the same mental giants who make $20.00 and more an hour here in California. In contrast, manual labor in Mississippi makes $7.25.

As I said earlier, I’m done with McDonald’s. I will do my best to never enter one of their artery-clogging establishments ever again. And while I’m sure that McStupid’s will not miss my financial contributions to their bottom line, I, at least, will have the satisfaction of knowing that once this post gets out to the masses, much like a virus, more people will will just say “Enough is Enough” and they too will cease to pay for incorrectly cooked and over priced food staffed by people who never had two of their brain cells ever touch each other in their life times.

Because if we no longer support corporations who are indifferent to what we have to say, that continually over charge us and make smaller the size of their products, who care more for “Shareholder Value” than “Customer Value” has the attitude of “Just shut up and give us your money,” then one day, after their shareholders had sold their stock and left upper managment high, dry and broke, we the consumers can say to the weeping corporate overlords: “Would you like fries with that?” (Then stiff them for the fries).