I’m coming up on my 65th birthday. Normally, I’d tell you all when I turn 65 to garner free stuff from my reading public, but thanks to those bastards that practice the dark arts of Identity Theft, I’m afraid you’ll just have to send me presents the old-fashioned way: Amazon Gift Cards and lots of cash with non-sequential serial numbers.

I’ve noticed something about myself as I hit this age milestone. Before I tell you what it is, I’ve also come to the conclusion that it’s not just me going through what I’m about to tell you, but it’s also, I’d say, about 98% of the people my age who go through it as well.

Basically, it’s this: We’re Done.

When you get to be our age, you have seen it all, done it all, and been through it all, and you have come to the conclusion that you don’t want to go through it again. We don’t give a rat’s ass about the job. We don’t care if what we eat is good or bad for us. We don’t care about fashion, cars, or status. We don’t care what our government says or does because we have lived through so many “regime changes” (one party going into power, then the next one does in the next election).

And believe it or not, when you get to be our age, you quit giving a royal crap about your credit score. You quit worrying about paying the big banks with their massive interest rate credit cards. Because you are near Death. You’re done caring about what a country that is 35 trillion in the hole has to say about what your FICO score is all about. (And why the hell do they need to know who I send $600.00 to when these idiots can’t keep track of Trillions of lost monies we paid to them in taxes?)

In the Bible, specifically in Leviticus 25, it talks about “The Year of Jubilee,” which takes place every 50^th year. And among the things it talks about during that event is the erasure of all debts. So, if you owed your neighbor $20.00 on a Super Bowl bet and haven’t paid up yet, and then the Year of Jubilee hits, that debt is history. If you get a chance, go read about it for yourself. But what I was getting at is this: Why can’t we have something like this in America? But we tweak it just a bit to give it a more “American” flavor. Something more in line with what we are currently going through in our country and/or the national financial situation.

Let’s call it “65 And Done”.

We all have to admit, today’s corporations and our economy in general are about as inviting, appealing, and trustworthy as eating Thai food from a gas station toilet in India.   The entire government and financial systems are rigged to the point that you are stuck in it with no way out.

Think about it: we spend what, 40 to 45 years working at jobs we hate, getting fed crumbs for a paycheck and expected to do the work of 2 or 3 people, but only get paid the wages of one. We put up with corrupt government officials, inept managers, and “Corporate Giants” whose only outstanding asset in their whole existence is that they can breathe without the use of a safety net while throwing people under the bus. And when it all comes crashing down, like the Mortgage Crash of 2008, or The Great Depression of 1929, or even The Covid-19 Recession of 2020, who do you think takes it in the ass?

You got it, Homeowners, Pension Funds, Charities, and people with more brain cells than your average member of Congress. You know, people like us.

And yet, thanks to something called “Shareholder Value,” people like Hedge Fund Managers who do a lot of “Short Selling” (wink-wink, knudge, knudge) on not only the housing market, but also the decline of specific companies and industries. Or, how about Financial Institutions: The assholes that benefited from government bailouts and subsequent asset acquisitions. Then, Distress Asset managers. These vultures specialized in preying on weak asset management, profiting by selling off assets, screwing workers, and forfeiting their pension funds. Don’t get me wrong, Hedge Fund Managers and financial institutions do the same thing, but these moral degenerates are more open about it.

With “65 and Done”, all of your consumer debt would be erased the day you turn 65. No more mortgage. No more credit card debts. No more car payment debt. And to keep mortgage/lending companies/, and insurance companies from practicing “age discrimination” against older people buying a home, you make it illegal to ask someone’s age or how long they have been at a job.

And let’s make it fair, if you rack up debt after turning 65 and your previous debt was erased, you are still liable for the new debt. In addition, not only does the debt that is written off not go against your credit ratings (as if you give a shit about that anymore), but it is a 100% tax write-off for the bank and finance companies. Because we all know these greedy bastards need all of the financial/government assistance they can get. (Major eyeroll inserted here)

But what about other things we have to pay for?

What about property taxes on your home? If you own the home, why are you paying property taxes on it? Isn’t that like rent… but you pay all the maintenance costs? If you own it, it’s yours. Plain and simple. The government does not need to get its overspending, greedy hooks into your home.

Most of the time, the fees that make up your property tax bill are things you don’t even use. Usually, there are fees for the Police Department, Fire Department, Libraries, Public Parks, and so forth, which are understandable. But when you have fees for “Road Maintenance” (which is poorly maintained anyway) or fees for your local community college (where you can get an Associate’s Degree in Left-Handed, Non-Binary, Underwater Basket Weaving), those fees don’t make sense because you don’t use them. But in the program of “65 And Done”, you would not have to pay any more property taxes. Besides, there are more younger people than older ones, so they can pick up the tab for this, and the local, state, and Federal governments would not lose any money.

What about insurance? Well, under “65 And Done,” you keep the same health insurance you had. Still, no more premiums,  no more deductibles, you are done paying into a system that has been funded by you for the past 40 years. Granted, this sounds a lot like Socialized Medicine, but when you have companies that are averaging billions and billions in profits, I think it’s time we, who are 65 and older, say “Enough is Enough”. I still haven’t figured out a way to avoid paying for homeowner’s or car insurance, but stay tuned.

There is also a mindset when it comes to “65 And Done”: we stop caring about what we eat or drink. We made it 65 years by eating right. Diet and Exercise. You know, all of the crap we are told to do by the Medical Profession. But it’s time we stop this nonsense!

Based on statistics I saw from the CDC, the average life expectancy in America is 79.0 years (76.5 years for Men and 81.4 years for women). So, for the sake of argument, we will use the average of 79 years for life expectancy. That gives us 14 years (79 – 65 = 14 for those following along from Washington, D.C.) to eat, live, drink, party, and do whatever we want (as long as the other person or persons are okay with it). I mean, we all know our health will eventually go downhill anyway, so why not have some fun before you can no longer do so?

Have the double bacon cheeseburger! Get rid of Lite Beer (which tastes like piss anyway) and have the good stuff. Have sex! Lots of it! (Use protection, plenty of lube, and don’t forget to stock up on those tiny blue pills). Travel (as long as you don’t go into debt to do so). Dress like a slut, a pimp, or your favorite superhero. It’s time you stopped caring what other people think. This is your chance to finally live! So do it!

In conclusion, I’m, and I’m sure some of you, are tired. We are tired of hearing a cash register go off every time we leave our house. We are tired of paying taxes on everything we own. We are tired of the high price of insurance and getting very little in return. We are tired of putting up with stupid people/jobs/governments who play stupid games but never seem to win stupid prizes.

But alas, we can probably all figure out by now that “65 And Done” will never happen. There is just too much money being made in a system that charges you for survival. Being 65 and older means you have entered “The Golden Years”, but in our society, we who are older are the “Geese That Lay THEIR Golden Eggs.” There is no way our government, corporations, big pharma, insurance companies, and state and local governments are going to kill these revenue-producing birds.

Oh well, if we can’t get “65 And Done,” there is always Death to look forward to.