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The List That Isn’t Followed
Imagine a world where obeying the Do Not Call List actually punishes you for being a law-abiding citizen! You won’t get bugged by glorified jock strap salesmen, but political crooks and scammy spammers run amok, turning your phone into a personal comedy show. Thanks, government, for protecting us from orderly calling chaos!
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Why I’m Done with McDonald’s: A Rant on Fast Food Disappointment
After enduring a McDonald’s adventure that felt more like a fast-food horror show, our hero vows to quit this greasy haunt for life. From mistaken orders to burgers so wrong they should be on America’s Got Talent, it’s clear: McDonald’s has traded satisfaction for confusion and overpriced misery. Time to ghost these golden arches!
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The Starbucks Transformation: What Happened to My Go-To Spot?
Ah, the nostalgia of a quaint old Starbucks! Once a romantic hideout for caffeine-fueled first dates and aspiring authors, it’s now a chilly wasteland resembling a space station—no comfy chairs, no outlets, just a parade of “Street Creatures” chatting with imaginary llamas. So, bring a parka and get your overpriced coffee—quickly!
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Reflections on 64 Years of Life and America’s Political Landscape
So I just turned 64, survived 786 full moons, and watched my government turn into a playground run by bullies. Politicians throw money at foreign issues while our backyard remains a mess. If only they understood history! Maybe a cosmic trip could help them see what truly matters—like, “Look at that, you son of a…
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What Do You Have To Lose? Give It A Shot!
Welcome to 2025, where hopes bloom like weeds in a junkyard! We just circled the sun again, but did life magically improve? Spoiler alert: Nope! New Year’s resolutions? 88% chance of failing—yikes! So, get off the couch, roll up your sleeves, and embrace the pain of change. Because regret? Way too tragic!
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Life Moves Pretty Fast (At Least It Is Supposed To)
If you drive an underpowered or electric vehicle, please read and take heed.
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I Yam What I Yam (Or Pretend To Be)
Can you really judge a book by its cover? Remember: Not everybody is who they say they are…or pretend to be.
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Walmart: The Latin Word for Retail Hell.
Put on your Haz-Mat suits ladies and gentlemen, we are going shopping at Walmart.
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Since When Did America Become a Bunch of Pussies?
We used to be a country that went out and did things for ourselves. If we wanted something, we either worked for it or discovered a way to make it happen. Now? We are a bunch of pussies.
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And The Award Goes To…
The end of the school year in America is like attending the Oscars, but with brighter people. At an 8th-grade award ceremony, every kid gets an award, even for things like ordering food in another language. Parents endure back-breaking, leg-cramping, and ass-numbing seats, but it’s all about supporting our kids. So, we’ll cheer them on,…
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The Ramblings of a Grumpy Old Man 